We have the very good fortune of working with amazing people. We are truly in awe of what our clients accomplish. As we creatively explore the best way to meet our clients varied needs we are energized.
The common element that infuses all of our work is the power of relationship. We take time to get to know our clients as individuals. The resulting connection means that our recommendations reflect their values and vision which in turn makes them more salient and sustainable.
As humans, we are wired for connection. According to Dr. Amy Banks, a researcher who looks at how neural pathways affect relationships, neuroscience is demonstrating that biological systems provide the basis for relatedness. In an interview she offered an illustration of just how this works:
“A good example of how the brain connects us is mirror neurons, which are located throughout the brain and help us read other people's feelings and actions. They may be the neurological underpinnings of empathy - when two people are in conversation they are stimulating each other's mirror neuron system. Not only will this lead to movement in similar muscles of the face (so the expressions are similar) but it also allows each to feel what the other is feeling.”
These small movements in our face transmit important information that stimulates human bonding. In our psychotherapy practices we often talk about how relationships are built on the little things. Anniversaries, birthdays and vacations are wonderful celebrations of connection. True happiness, however, emanates from the small, daily kindnesses. The good luck text before an interview, the favorite meal prepared after a long week or the warm hug at the end of the day are the actions that breeds those warm fuzzy feelings when you look at your loved ones.
Little things go a long way in business as well. We were reminded of the importance of small behaviors when we received an email from a beloved client. He has over 40 years of experience managing health care organizations that include fortune 100 companies. In addition to guiding organizations, he shares his talents by teaching college students.
It is in his role as a teacher that he shared a wonderful illustration of how small interactions should never be underestimated. What may seem trivial to you can have a tremendous impact on the people you work with.
Here is the email he sent to us:
I received a note from a former student today; the kind that keeps me coming back to teach.Among other things, she wrote to thank me for all the help, insight, and encouragement that I provided. She went on to say having me as a professor had a huge impact on her professional development and confidence.
"Huge impact" = 1 phone conversation of about 15 minutes and 1 conversation while walking to the parking lot.
This type of note always serves to remind me that I have to be very deliberate in everything I say. We simply can't know when or how what we say will change someone's trajectory.
It is this point that I've been thinking about all day. As leaders, our words carry outsized weight. A casual remark can be devastating; a brief discussion can sway someone's decision. And these discussions often take place, not in the formal "Can I ask your advice?" sit-downs, but in what we perceive as a casual chat during which our spidey senses may not be engaged.
He went on to ask us if this topic was something we could explore in one of our blogs. We think that his reflection is the perfect exploration and gives us all the opportunity to be more mindful about how we impact those around us.
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