Embracing Uncertainty

Life is full of uncertainty. 

Just that statement may have some of your hearts skipping a beat. If you think about it, there are times when not having all of the details is not that bad. In fact, it can be kind of fun. Before you travel to a new place, part of the excitement can be wondering what you will see, eat and experience. It can fill you with joyful anticipation. 

In the business world, uncertainty more often than not creates stress. Waiting to hear if you landed that deal or if your new product will be a success can make your head spin. As you think about the possibilities you can feel the power draining from your brain. 

A certain level of worry is normal and can even be helpful. It can motivate you to take the next step toward productivity.  However, when that worry turns to more persistent anxiety it permeates your daily life and becomes problematic. Your brain tries to figure out how to avoid these feelings and it codes any feelings of uncertainty as dangerous.  

Uncertainty becomes something to be resisted. Something that is abnormal and to be avoided at all costs. According to Dr. Sally Winston, Founder and Executive Director of the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute, uncertainty gets a bad rap. She sees uncertainty as a growth opportunity helping develop confidence and resilience. 

The first step to gain these benefits is developing a mindset that normalizes uncertain times. Dr. Winston describes it as the willful tolerance of uncertainty.  It is learning to embrace situations where the outcome is unknown with a calm rather than anxious energy. Instead of seeing uncertainty as dangerous, it is becoming comfortable with ambiguity so that your brain remains open and easily moves to decision making. This mindset focuses on developing adaptability to changing circumstances. 

So, what does this mindset look like?

According to Dr. Winston, it is about viewing times of limbo as a regular part of life and then developing skills to move out of limbo. As Dr. Winston puts it: 

“Learning a new way to navigate through these things teaches us that they are not dangerous and that we are capable of handling them….This involves taking action to show yourself that you ARE capable of handling fear, discomfort and not knowing.  When we learn that we can tolerate and navigate these things – even though we are afraid that we can not – then what has stalked us and terrified us for so long begins to lessen and fade over time.”

We’ll give you a simple, school yard example that many of us have experienced. When kids move from elementary to middle school, they are often in a panic. They see lots of anxiety ridden obstacles to this new venture. They have to change classes, they may have lockers to contend with and of course the ultimate fear of where they will land socially in the shark tank known as Middle School. 

In our psychotherapy practices, we have worked with countless kids who share their fear of the unknown. We help them see that this is a normal transition that understandably triggers worrisome feelings (aka embracing the uncertainty). We then work to help them develop tools.  For example, find their classrooms before school starts, practice opening a lock, and identify allies at school.

More often than not, two weeks into school they are navigating these perceived challenges with ease. When they face another transitional challenge like moving on to high school, they can point to their feelings of uncertainty as a cue that change is coming. It is a notification signal not a danger sign. The next step is to rely on skills they have developed.

When you start to recognize that the flutter in your chest or queasy feeling in your stomach is normal and something to be expected when you are facing uncertain times, your body is not going to jump into flight or fight mode. Your brain will be free to access the tried and true tools you have honed over time resulting in greater confidence in your ability to address challenges.

Building the mindset of normality around uncertainty goes hand and hand with skill development. The last piece in our series will give you some practical ways to determine your next steps when the path forward is less than clear.

Photo by Mohammed Nohassi