How to Build Self-Awareness: A Leader’s Guide to Looking Inward

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In our last post, we looked at how self-awareness plays a key role in great leadership. You can know every management framework and read every business book, but if you are oblivious to your emotions, blind spots, habits, and impact on others, none of that knowledge will be meaningful in practice.

So, what now?

Self-awareness isn’t a one-time insight, but a lifelong practice. As with any leadership skill, it can be cultivated with intention and effort. Here are some practical steps leaders can take to build and deepen self-awareness:

Engage in Regular Introspection: Block out time on your calendar for looking inward. Give your mind free reign to process the events of the day. Journaling on these reflections, helps you crystallize your insights and allows you to track patterns over time. Ask yourself:

• What went well today?

• What didn’t?

• How did I respond to challenges?

• What emotions came up for me in key moments?

Get curious about your motivations: As you reflect, explore what fuels your thoughts and actions. Continually probing on the underlying causes leads to deeper and more powerful insights. Ask yourself:

• What am I hoping to gain from this?

• Why is this goal so important to me?

• What need am I trying to meet through this decision or action?

• Am I doing this for recognition, impact, security, connection, or something else?

• Would I still pursue this if no one ever knew I did it?

Ask for feedback: Be proactive about getting constructive criticism from others and respond graciously when they do. Resist the urge to defend or explain yourself. Simply listen and say thank you. Then take time to reflect on what you heard. Open-ended questions like the following can be helpful:

• What is one thing I could have done better in that meeting?

• How did my response land with you?

• What’s something I might not see about myself?

Consult with trusted advisors: Colleagues, mentors, coaches, and friends can help you fill in your blind spots. Choose people who will be honest with you and who care more about your growth than your comfort. Ask them:

• How do I come across to you?

• When do you see me at my best?

• Where do I get in my own way?

Leverage tools to learn more: Personality and leadership assessments (e.g., Enneagram, 360 Reviews, StrengthsFinder) can be helpful, but only when they promote true introspection and prompt further exploration and learning. Take what you learn from these tools and look for ways to apply it to your life. Ask yourself:

• What does this mean for how I lead?

• Where might this show up as a strength or a limitation?

• What’s one small action I can take this week based on what I’ve learned?

Pay Attention to Triggers: Moments of tension, frustration, defensiveness, or withdrawal are valuable opportunities to learn. They can show you where your ego, fear, or old patterns may be driving your behavior. Instead of pushing through or brushing it off, slow down and ask:

• What am I really reacting to here?

• What belief or assumption might be driving this response?

• Is this about the situation or something in me?

Build Emotional Regulation Skills: Self-awareness involves identifying your emotions and managing them. Rather than suppressing your feelings, the goal is to respond thoughtfully and from a place of control. Try:

• Noticing what happens in your body when emotions rise (tight jaw, racing heart, clenched fists).

• Using grounding techniques like breathwork or a short pause before responding.

• Rehearsing your response to difficult conversations beforehand, so you can stay calm under pressure.

Do a Frequent Values Check: Your values are the compass that guide your decisions, especially when the path is unclear. Reconnecting with them regularly helps you lead with integrity. Ask yourself:

• What really matters to me in this role?

• Where have I compromised a value recently?

• What does “success” look like for me—not just for the company, but for the kind of leader I want to be?

Self-awareness isn’t just for your benefit. The more clearly you see yourself, the more effectively you can lead others. As a leader, you can model authenticity, nurture trust and create space for others to do the same.

In your next team meeting, challenge yourself to show up with a bit more intention. Reflect before you speak. Ask a question you wouldn’t normally ask. Listen longer than you usually do.

Growth starts with small actions, but it starts with you.