Putting Forgiveness into Action

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Forgiveness can be a noble calling. It challenges us to tap into the better side of our nature. When we feel wronged we can feel very justified (and even energized) by the anger and resentment coursing through our veins.  We can feel the need to spread the negative energy by sharing our hurts to enlist the support of those around us.

Think about many of the soap opera type dramas set in the business world. Audiences are captivated as they watch characters bristle and react to perceived slights. As lead characters plan how to exact their vengeance, viewers root for one side or the other. This can lead to lively discussions between friends and soaring ratings for the media platforms. Can you imagine trying to pitch a show to entertainment executives where everyone in the cast takes a beat, reflects on their part in a conflict and works with each other toward forgiveness? It definitely would not be as titillating as someone planning a revenge scenario.

Unlike these fictional characters where grudge holding is turned into an art form, those of us in the real world have to figure out how to create peaceful workplace environments. When this is accomplished it leads to more employee satisfaction, increased innovation and enhanced productivity.

And this is where forgiveness comes into play.  It is not an easy task. Forgiveness is not always second nature and we can be hesitant to give it a try. But, it is definitely worth the effort. Practicing forgiveness repairs relationships and rebuilds trust leading to ripple effects throughout an organization. In fact, research has shown that forgiveness impacts employees who weren’t even involved in a particular conflict. When they witness others extending the olive branch, they become more likely to model the same behavior, improving company culture.  

The Greater Good Center at the University of California, Berkeley suggests keeping these things in mind when approaching forgiveness at work.

• Leaders need to demonstrate forgiveness and take responsibility for their mistakes. Leaders’ behavior often has the greatest impact on the culture. Employees take their cues from leadership on what is desired in the workplace. By apologizing and taking action to make things right, trust is built throughout the organization. 

  
  

• Concentrate on reparative experiences. It is not just about forgiving words, but creating opportunities for people to come together, particularly people who may have been in conflict. Shared tasks and team-building activities can foster cooperation and rebuild trust.

  
  

• Invest in forgiveness. Don’t only talk about forgiveness after there has been some misdeed. Regularly schedule programs that build understanding and teach evidence-based tools that focus on ongoing forgiveness in the workplace. 

  
  

In addition to these steps, the Center provides a valuable forgiveness exercise based on work done at Stanford's Forgiveness Project.  The key elements of this model include:

• Clearly identifying what is making you upset or angry.

• Understanding that forgiveness is a process and will take directed attention.

• Shifting perspective from holding on to negative emotions to seeing the cost of holding the grudge.

In the final installment in our series we will walk you through another skill you can add to your forgiveness toolbox.