Tools for Compromise

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We have been exploring the challenges that compromise provides and the importance of developing skills to stay calm and collected to achieve the best outcome. When entering into a situation where compromise is necessary, you have to be as centered as possible.

To do this, you can ask yourself questions to cultivate the positive, grounded and open attitude that is essential.

1. Where am I emotionally right now, and am I bringing my most centered self into this conversation?

If you are highly emotional not only will you tend to act more impulsively, but you won’t be processing information effectively. Meditation, deep breathing, or journaling are great ways to center yourself before a challenging conversation.

2.  What parts of my position are truly essential, and where might I have room to be  flexible?

 Giving thought to what is truly non-negotiable and where there is room to   compromise will help you stay grounded.  Preparing how you will articulate your         message before a meeting makes it more likely that the other side will come away with a nuanced understanding of your position. 

3.  What do I understand about the other person and the beliefs or perspectives they hold?

Humans have a need to be heard and understood. If you want the other side to take time to understand what makes you tick, you need to provide them the same courtesy. Trying to step into their shoes and view the situation from their vantage point builds empathy, making compromise more likely. 

4.  If tensions rise, what tools can I use to stay calm and get things back on track?

This might include some of the centering techniques described above as well as developing practiced phrases that help reset the tone or suggesting a break to let everyone reset.

There are many things that are beyond our control. What is in our control is becoming comfortable and adept at compromise. This will make each of us advocates for positive change in the world. 

To do this we need to build a mindset that is not easy for our brains to adopt. Challenging ourselves to hold opposing views at the same time and developing skills to stay open and curious will help compromise become second nature.